Fearless & Loved
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." I John 4:18 NIV
This is not a new verse or one that I've never heard before. But the message of this verse hit me in a whole new way yesterday. I don't even remember what radio station I was listening to, but the preacher was talking about being overcome by fear & worry.
It's nothing new to this girl. The past year has been one of the most stress-filled, anxiety-causing, overwhelming years of my life. Different situations have played into it, and a month ago, I found myself with a headache that would just not go away. Week after week, I had this pressure in the right side of my head. Essential oils would help a little, visits to the chiropractor would bring temporary relief but
each morning, I would wake up with this dull pain.
Stress. Worse-case scenario. In my mind, I convinced myself that it was probably a brain tumor (no over-exaggeration going on here! :) I'm not a person who has frequent headaches, much less one that lasts over 3 weeks so of course it had to be something really bad.
Worry. Freaking out. Fear. Anxiety. Everything was at high levels, and I was absolutely miserable. And to make it all worse, I felt like God had His back turned to me. I was sure I had disappointed Him, and could not make convince myself of the truth of Him being "for me, and not against me".
Last week, I shipped the boys off to their first day of school, and then I put on a playlist of worship music, and just got lost in the message of those songs. It was like a healing balm to this heart of mine, and was something I so desperately needed. This heart needed to be reminded that not only did God love me, but He was FOR me. He was in control (surprise, surprise) and whatever He brought me to, He would bring me through.
Fast forward to yesterday now . . . as I was listening to the pastor share about fear & worry,
the message really hit me.
If you find yourself consumed by fear & worry,
then you've lost sight of Jesus' incredible love for you.
I have never realized the amazing connection between really being convinced of Jesus' love for me, and having a life free of worry & fear. It totally makes sense. Because when I find myself questioning how He could love me (after all, I can be such a hot mess!) . . . it's in those times that fear & worry can just come in and take over.
His love for me stands like a guard at the door of my heart. Doubt, fear, & worry have no place when I am standing in the middle of the river of His love that washes over me. And I will remind my heart of that truth on a hourly basis if needed.
(This song by Chris Tomlin says it perfectly)